Apples & Toast #001

Got bored, made a comic strip. Enjoy.

Back in Business.

Yep, been almost a year since I last updated. Seriously, World of Warcraft will suck all the free time out of you, as well as most of your busy time as well. It’s as addictive as Meth-filled Krispy Kremes doughnuts with cocaine frosting. Eventually, you hit the maximum level and it gets boring since you start doing the same quests with other characters…. a vicious repetitive cycle…. but hey, if you have nothing else to do, I say go for it.

A lot has changed since I last posted. Quit WoW (R.I.P. Olwe…), broke up with my girlfriend (not going into details here), I now shave my head regularly (sexy Vin Diesel look FTW), and I’m just one semester away from graduation and the imminent unemployment line.

So yeah, my life’s kinda been in the shithole lately, but I’m working my wait out. In the meantime, I’ve decided to continue my blogging, since I’m not really doing much nowadays except spending ridiculous amounts of time in front of my laptop, usually enjoying my fine selection of 10-second frame-skipping porn.

Don’t got much to say right now, since I’m just starting up the engine for this one. I’ll try to keep this blog updated more frequently, maybe post twice as much as last year, which would mean about 4-6 updates for this year! 😛 Just kidding.

I’ll get back on and blog as soon as I have something to talk about; probably later this week or so. For now, I’m out. Take care.

Not Dead Yet.

Contrary to the belief and/or desire of many of my friends, I’m still alive and kicking.

Sorry I haven’t written in like 2 maybe 3 months… but I’ve been playing World of Warcraft a lot these past few months… I’m already level 50.

Anyways, not much has been going on with my life lately. Carlos, Ipsum’s roommate has decided to drop out of engineering to go study music, thus he’s moving away to wherever it is he’s gonna study that now. This kinda sucks, cause he hangs out with us a lot, and by a lot we mean that he stays over at our appartment so much that our landlord will every now and then rant to us that “there’s 3 people living at our appartment, when we’re only paying for 2.” Which is pretty much bullshit, since Apox and I pay for the full rent of the appartment, not for rooms individually. And even though the landlord pays the electricity and water (since he never put separate meters, we can’t know what we spent and what he spent), Carlos pretty much only uses 2 gallons of water to flush the toilet, and a 6-8 hours of electricity to keep his laptop on or charging. My landlord’s an asshole… plus, he’s cheating on his wife with hookers, or so I heard through my window from his wife fighting with him today. Though on one occassion, his wife personally told me he was cheating on her.

Our ISP’s shitty internet service, ironically called Choice(since there’s not much you can do but hope for the best once you sign up with them), finally pissed off Apox so much that he called their Tech Support, and after much persuassion, they finally reset our connection from their side. Effectively, this solved our problem with the internet connectivity up until now, though it’s been going on and off today, so who knows if it was only temporary…

In other world news, Steve Jobs declares he’s Anna Nicole Smith’s baby’s 16th father. J/K (Actually I havent been up-to-date on that lately). I find it sad how society sets its priorities… I mean, how important in our minds could some dumb whore with a father-less baby be? I mean, it’s not like we don’t see dumb whores and father-less babies every-fucking-day. When all this shit about Anna Nicole’s autopsy started, I remember tuning on CNN and they were reporting on that, then I noticed that to the lower right corner there was a small frame… it said BREAKING NEWS. I thought to myself “what could possibly be so important as to claim the lower right corner of a report about my dumb whore and her father-less baby!?” As I read on, it was a live feed from Congress saying (in captions of course… they may take away our lower right corner, but the may never take away our audio!) that Bush’s request to send 20,000 more troops to Irak had just been declined.

There you got it. You know society is fucked up in the head when they’d rather hear about some whore’s sex-capades over the decision to not send 20,000 soldiers to a lost cause.

Wow, didn’t think I’d end up typing so much. I’ll leave you off for now with some piano-kid that’s pretty good at writing funny lyrics (he’s got a couple more, check his user info): Click Here.

Saddam seen hangin’ around with his homies.

So as many of you will probably know, Saddam’s life after the trial verdict is kinda, well, dead. Yeah, he was hanged sometime while I was sleeping. I only came to know about his death after Eddy sent me a text message about the event. I find it kinda funny, cause I don’t think he was expecting to be killed right before New Year’s (the sentence had a deadline around February, if I’m not mistaking) so I can only imagine his reaction when he realizes they played a cruel joke on him making him think he’d be around for New Year’s.

By the way, the full video is out. So if you’re morbidly curious, and I know you are… click here; it will take you to the video.

Let me be the first one to say, that today, I’m being a hipocrite, cause even though I’m against the death sentence, here I am inviting you to seea video depicting an execution. Oh well…

Personally I do not approve of the death sentence.

• First, because you’re killing someone (I think the eye for an eye ideology when it comes to death sentence is one of the most ignorant ways of thinking there are).

• Second, cause the judicial system, no matter how good it may be, it isn’t perfect. Trials have stopped being about making justice, and become about finding somebody to place the blame on; be that person guilty or innocent of the crime being accused of. (Don’t get me wrong. I DO know and acknowledge that Saddam did all that fucked up shit he did.)

• Third, you’re already taking away their life, you don’t have to humiliate/torture them while you’re at it. The U.S. seems to have confused the term humane with appealing to the audience. The most used technique for executing someone in the U.S. is the lethal injection (though this method IS more humane than others like the gas chamber, etc. the procedure still involves torture). It’s composed of three different doses. The first one, puts you to sleep, the second one paralizes you, and the third one stops the heart (also turns the blood into a jelly-like substance or coagulate, I’ve heard.) So in other words, they put you to sleep so they don’t see your sorry face in pain. They paralize you to shut down the lungs and muscle (and to make sure they don’t see your sorry face in pain in case you wake up). And then, the third stops your life-pumper; which I guess might be very painful, especially if it does ‘jellify’ your blood in the process. Then it’s done. No mess to be seen. I think it’d be more humane to get shot in the head than be killed in a 30 minute procedure. Gory? Yes, but also less painful.

Back to Saddam. I think they let him off too easy for all he did. I’d have locked him up in solitary confinement for the rest of his life. That way, he’d have had all the time he needed to think of the naughty things he did.

So yeah. Now that I’ve taken the subject off of my mind… I’m gonna go play some Final Fantasy 3. See ya!

P.S. Let’s see how many hits I get but typing in a couple of key phrases… 🙂

Long live Saddam!

Saddam is great!

Saddam sex tape

Allah bless Saddam

Come play with my Wii…

Well, seems like I spoke to soon. I called Lola when I woke up, and she was at the GameStop waiting for the UPS guy.  After some waiting, she’s about $330 (taking an estimate out of my head) poorer and 1 Wii, 1 extra wiimote/nunchuk & 1 Rayman game richer.

Heh, guess the 16th try’s  the charm!

^My friends’ Wii’s. We went on launch date, and ended up taking about 7 of the 20 consoles available. Guess good things DO come to those who wait, huh?

Lifestyles of the W.o.W.’d and Wiiless.

So yeah, here’s the story…

Lola, for the last 4 weeks, has had only one purpose in life… to get a Wii.

For the last. Fucking. Four. Weeks. She has gone at least 5 days a week (usually excluding Sunday) to the local GameStops & EB-Games and stayed stayed inside the store, faithfully waiting for the UPS guy to deliver the rare and illusive Wii console. She started staying in the store after having stayed home and called to check on the Wiis’ arrival status, being told they had Wii’s, and when she arrived she would be just in time to watch the last 1-4 Wii’s being sold in front of her. This event happened on 4 different occasions, and in each occasion it happened in various stores.

(Fun fact: If I got a blowjob for every time she missed her Wii by one console, my dick would be soggier than Corn Flakes that have been soaking in milk for 3 days at 96°F! :D)

 

Anyhow, since she would get so sad upset frustrated angry pissed mad enraged fire-spewing unhappy, I told her she should buy the World of Warcraft trial CD, so she’d have something to entertain herself until she got her Wii. She listened to my advice, and 18 patch-downloading hours later, she created her character. It seemed like she was enjoying taking her mind off of the Wii. The date of the last announced possible chance of a Wii-Shipment before Christmas came by, and the Wii’s were a no-show. When I called her to check if she had gotten it, she said, in the most passive & tranquil voice, “No, I got tired of waiting, so I left.”, promptly followed by the sound of her W.o.W. character bashing in the face of an over-sized spider.

 

I went over to her house from December 24th-25th. Our time together can be easily described by one word… W.o.W.

We spent the whole 24th playing that god-forsaken game, killing bears in thongs & flying feathered whores. She got her character to level 12, and I got my character (yeah, I created one whileI was there… KILL ME.) to level 11.

So there we are, the 25th, and Wiiless; but fear not, for we have W.o.W.!So we played for the rest of the time I spent there.

Seriously, ever since she started playing it, she has completely forgotten about the Wii. I think this is gonna be the start of something good, or something very, very, veeeeeeery BAD.

Either way, if you have World of Warcraft, I’m on the Lightning’s Blade server, my character’s name is Ulmo.

 

On another note, here’s a list of what I got for Christmas!:

-Final Fantasy III (DS)

-Call of Duty 3 (360)

-Xbox360 Cooling Fan (Which doesn’t want to fucking work)

-Money

-Some weird wallet

-Clothes

-Christmas-themed Boxers

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all of my 5 readers! 😀

Here’s my gift…

Ho-Ho-Hoes!

World of Warcraft. World of the Forsaken.

So Eddy, Yam, Armando and I went over to Albith’s house for some Wii-time. There, we promptly realized the awful truth… 5 people. 4 controllers. No swords for a battle to the death. I, being the good friend that I am; or rather, the most easily distracted of the group, started to play the piano Albith has. After 10 minutes of attempting to play the Mario Bros. jingle perfectly, I realized I would never become the next Mozart Miyamoto, so I quit playing.

<—-Related story starts here.—->

Before I continue, I should let you in on how my Albith’s life has been the last couple of weeks. Everything started with him being invited by Carlos and Ipsum (“roommates” to each other, might I add… 😛 ) to create a character on their WoW account (joint account, might I add… 😛 ). At first he was hesitant, having never actually been into RPG games. I told him about my experience with Everquest, and how MMORPG’s are not the same as RPG’s, and how he would become addicted to it if he so much as touched the keyboard. After much persistance from Carlos and Ipsum, and much fortelling from me of what would become of him, he created his character… a gnome magician (which I taught was kinda gay-looking. Fitting perfectly in the “roommates” joint account, might I add. 😛 ). At first, he was like “Yeah, this game’s pretty cool.”, then 4 days after his first hit of WoW he told me he the game was fucking awesome and that he had gotten addicted to it. Fast-forward 3 days; he purchased his own game and created his own account. Another gnome…**sigh**. He had also gotten two additional accounts (thought I’m still in the gray of whether he bought two demos, or if the original brings two demos itself to give out); one for his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend (assuming he stays in WoW) and the other one he offered it to me, which I refused to accept because:

1)When I get addicted to something, I. GET. ADDICTED. Be it videogames or food. ESPECIALLY food.(triple-meat sandwich story some other day)

2)I played Everquest once. And I would play it for long periods at a time, leaving my room only to eat and use the toilet (bathing was expendable). This saga lasted for about a year, when my mom stopped paying for my account, and I had to spend my ever-diminishing resources to fund my happy-play-time.

3)My piece-of-shit Vaio would most likely implode and create a black hole if I were to attempt installing any videogame with video requirements greater than 32Kb (notice the Kb, not to be mistaken with Mb.) I mean, seriously, WHO THE FUCK GETS A 74 OR LESS ON 3DMARK??!!!

4)I have a girlfriend, whom I love very much, and would hate to make her a widow before even getting married.

5)As said earlier, I have ever-diminishing resources. Thus I cannot afford to fund the monthly fee.

Anyways, after only 5 or 6 days of buying his own account, he got his fruity-looking gnome to level 22. Taking only small breaks to eat, meet the daily talk-to-girlfriend quota, and insist on me taking the remaining account.

<—-Related story ends here.—->

Since they’re still fondling and frollicking with their Wiis, I wandered around and saw Albith’s laptop laying about. I asked him if he minded me creating a character on his account so I’d have something to do, inquiry to which he blissfully complied. To cut down on the writting a little bit, I drew this let you know how the experience went about:

So, I spent from 10pm-4am playing a night-elf rogue. I got it to level 8.9 (having achieved only so little because I decided to explore around the map, and because I constantly overestimated my skills and wound up in the graveyard. Often.) and spent all night killing Gnarlpines, which are basically huge bears in g-strings. Sexy…

It’s the second day since I played, and already I want to stealthly backstab Albith so I can loot his computer and play WoW. Fuck, I’ve become addicted to this fucking game. It will be Everquest all over again if I buy WoW; the loss of social-life, the sleepless nights, the flawlessly clean bathtub…

Aside from Albith, also not helping to the cause, is my very own, loving girlfriend Lola, who has offered to buy me a couple of months worth of WoW fees for Christmas. Damn, that sexy temptress her, has Albith bribed her into getting me into WoW?

In reality, this would be a fucking sweet gift, were it not for my addictiveness. However another possibility could be that she buy it for herself, that way, she can maintain control of it, and keep my WoW fix in check. That would be awesome AND sexy; and she would also be raising the female gamer population count to 1 (2 if you count Ipsum :P). Anyways, I’d like for her to try WoW first on Albith’s or somebody else’s account before buying it and finding out she hates it; though hey, if RPG-hating Albith became addicted to it, I’m pretty sure Lola could be on the same path towards self-destruction & isolation too. Here’s to chance, cheers! Let’s all die in front of our computers together!

Merry Christmas!

“Friends don’t let other friends play WoW.”

Wikipedia: Future Encyclopedia of Tomorrow!!!1!one!!

Wikipedia, one of the best things to have ever come from the internet (second only to Free Porn, and Free Porn ONLY.), is a free web-based encyclopedia that gives users access to information on a subcultural level that one normally wouldn’t find on a conventional like, say, Microsoft Encarta. Wikipedia has so much information available that one can easily become addicted to it and lose track of time. I personally have lost hours to this damned website looking up info ranging from Saturn’s Rings to Controversial videogames. This website also made me realize that everything  is linked, but separated to some degree. Seriously, you can start searching List of two-legged dinosaurs and will read your way through all the way to Chocolate-chip recipes. Take this for example, I did a little experiment, to see where clicking on random links in articles would take me; this was the result:

Universe–> Supernova Star–> Galaxy–> Milky Way–> Dark Chocolate–> Rabbit–> Gas–> Gas Chamber–> Concentration Camp–> Death Camp–> Hitler–> Irritable bowel syndrome–> Diarrhea

This also goes to prove my theory that all conversations will always end in a sex and/or shit topic. But that’ll have to wait until another post.

Anyways, wikipedia is full of so much interesting information cause it’s set-up to allow the general public to pitch in a little and give whatever information they know on the topic.  This great advantage is also its weakness.  Sadly not everyone else in this sex & shit themed world is as smart and intelligent (did I remember to mention sexy?) as moi… and you, of course (by association, though.), some people are actually down-right stupid & dumb-fucked. As a consequence, every now and then, one of these dumbfucks will try to share their knowledge on the topic, or even worse, post an article if he/she finds the afore-mentioned article to be non-existant.

Now that we’re at this point in the post, you might be wondering why I posted an article about some website that’s been running for quite a couple of years already. Well, the reason is that I was looking up information on Naruto, since I’ve never sat down to watch the series though I’ve always been interested in watching it. Well, I was searching for information on a specific character named Gaara. <–Him. Yes, you.

So I did the logical thing and typed in Gaara on the search bar. This is what the search yielded. I’d like to take a moment to thank all dumbfucks out there for putting your constant effort into stating all that is obvious and/or irrelevant to topics everywhere. Seriously, how retarded do you have to be think something like that is anywhere near relevant in an encyclopedia?
Maybe their mothers “fell” on a rusty bleach-soaked clothehanger wire or something… Oh well.

Anyways I’m off for now, so I’ll be seeing ya around. Also I finished my finals, so I’ll give an update on how I did as soon as I get all my grades. For now, sleep, eat, videogames, and sleep.

Pope, Porn & Nazis

So, Ipsum and I were bored yesterday so we went to Pizza Hut to get something to eat, as being bombarded with Finals seems to take a toll on one’s stomach. After downing a Big NewYorker we went to blockbuster to rent History of the World (from Monty Python, I think). While looking for it, we stumbled into the “special interests” section, which consists of a collection of documentaries & porn, which by the way is coincidentally facing the children’s videogames sections (nice work, management! :P). While looking at the porno covers, erm, I mean, while desperately searching for the fastest way out of that void of satan’s seduction, we couldn’t help but notice that something wasn’t quite right in the section…

Yup, there you have it, what better place to put a documentary of the beloved late Supreme Pontiff than right between a porno and nazis? Oh well, at least he seems to be enjoying himself there, judging by his smirk…

No, we didn’t rent the porno, we ended up renting Elf. Also, I did switch the dvd’s before we left, so I guess one horny boy, and a priest are not gonna be too thrilled about it… well, maybe the priest will enjoy the switch, right Father?

Yes, father. We know that already…

So now you know, you’ll find things where you least expect them. So if you’re looking for Spongebob the Movie you’ll probably find it between KKK: The White Power and The Godfather.